This is the BIG question, and only you can answer it. But answer it you must. Leaders owe it to themselves as well as the people they lead to go deeper into their own motivations, their hopes, and their dreams. Business schools don’t require a course in “Understanding Your Personal Mission” for graduation, nor do many family con-versations involve parents sharing their purpose in life with their children. Most of us grow up believing that scores get kept based on things like home runs hit, beauty contests won, and amounts on annual W-2 forms. What a pity.
Think of a person who had a great positive influence on your life.
How did that happen? Was it the size of their office that so impressed you that you decided right then and there that you were going to strive to be a great leader? Was it the tale of an exotic vacation, a fancy car, or a prestigious title that convinced you to follow some-one’s footsteps? I rather doubt it. More likely it was a quiet word spo-ken at the right moment, an encouraging smile after you spoke up at a meeting, or a short note of congratulations for a job well done that caused you to say, “This is a person I want to emulate.”
My friend Mary Marcdante said, “When you’re on purpose, life fits.” How does your life fit these days? If tomorrow were your last day on this planet, would your list of regrets be longer than your list of accomplishments? People who are clear about the meanings of their lives find it much easier to make decisions about the big things, to prioritize the activities that fill up their days, and to know, really know, what’s important. There is great peace of mind in knowing how to answer if someone asks, What gives your life meaning?
In his wonderful book The Eagle’s Secret, David McNally quotes Maureen Gustafsen, CEO of the Mankato Chamber and Convention
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Bureau as saying, ”We all have a significant role to play. It is our duty to determine that role and our obligation to fulfill it.” I couldn’t agree more. That’s why this question appears twice in this book. It’s a ques-tion you need to both ask and answer. Organizaques-tions that are filled with people who both unapologetically ask and thoughtfully answer this question are places with a very bright future.
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❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ WHAT DID YOU LEARN? ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚
Early on, I advanced the theory that great leaders don’t have all the answers, but they have great questions; and now, as promised in the beginning of this chapter, I’ve put you in the position of having to provide answers. How did it feel?
Could you tell that these are not your usual let’s-go-ask-the-boss kind of questions? I hope so. Managers understand that they need to be factual, organizational, and functional resources for the peo-ple on their teams. Leaders know that their questions and answers must go beyond that—into areas of philosophy, ethics, and feelings.
Leaders are skillful at asking the right questions, at the right time, of the right people. Leaders are equally skilled at giving the right answers, to the right question, in the right context. They think about the questions that need to be asked, learn from the answers, and take action appropriately.
They know when to ask, when to answer, and when to listen.
They really mean it when they say, “Don’t worry, there’s no such thing as a stupid question.” They have the courage to respond with an “I don’t know” when they don’t know. They’re comfortable answering a question with silence.
In Confessions of an Accidental Businessman, James Autry wrote,
“This has to do with the transition from manager to leader being fundamentally a leap from the external to the internal, from the life
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All the answers we ever get are responses to questions.
—Neil Postman, Chair, Department of Culture and Communications, New York University
TE AM FL Y
Team-Fly®
outside to the inner life, from a preoccupation with doing to the acceptance of being as the defining characteristic of leadership.” I couldn’t agree more!
❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ CHAPTER SIX WORKSHEET ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚
1.Which of the questions in this chapter did you find the most chal-lenging? Why?
2.What behaviors do you want to change based on what you’ve learned in this chapter?
3.What other questions might you need to answer?
4.How would you answer those questions?
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5.What is the one thing you want to remember most from this chapter?
OTHER NOTES
LET’S TAKE a look at special situations from a different perspective. How about those times when you’re asked a question and it’s your answer that’s a problem? In this chap-ter we’ll look at a few of these situations.
The more you practice asking questions, welcoming questions, and answering the questions that are asked of you, the easier all this questioning business becomes. But there’s always the question that throws you off your game, the ques-tion you don’t know how to answer, or the quesques-tion you just don’t want to answer. What happens then? Reading this
answers for
special situations
chapter
7
chapter will give you some ideas, though not all the ideas—just enough to help you to your own solutions.
During an interview on the Today show, Sir Ian McKellen was asked about the lessons he learned from doing years of Shakespeare.
He replied simply, “Never underestimate the script.” That’s a good lesson for leaders, too. Thinking about how you’d deal with the
sit-uations described in this chapter and how scripting an answer could work for you (even if your script doesn’t quite reach the level of Shakespeare) will boost your confidence as a leader who can answer just about any question.
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Questions are never indis-creet. Answers sometimes are.
—Oscar Wilde, Irish writer